There are some things that I have always known. A fortunate smaller set tends to be recent. So this is something I have realized recently: I am a lame person.
This was shocking, the first time it dawned on me. Lame was the last adjective I would have ever attached to myself. In a past life, I would have actively resisted this diagnosis. However, I have a good grip on reality these days and this revelation, while shocking to the core, stuck with me.
The pill was bitter, but I swallowed it. I finally saw that I am a lame person overall. I state things without having thought much or enlightened myself. I don't produce much output. The little output I produce has absolutely no significance and few people go through it. I don't have any serious asset and if I get fired from my job, which is looking very likely these days, I will be begging people for another job.
I don't work hard and I don't exert myself. I seldom learn and I get bored to death in most of life. I feel that there is no growth. Unlike most of my life, I, however have an identity, so lack of material and ideas does not bother me.
The lack of material and ideas does not bother me. The lack of depth and effort does. Not just bother, its bores me to death.
Okay I am going to try my hand at drama writing. Just decided it five minutes ago.
Tennis lessons have been promised to me since forever.
I will be producing output, as the first step in my humanizing journey.
A girl was complaining that this is a fast-paced age and things just end. I think it suits me mightily.
As all troubles, this has been triggered by economic issues. I am broke and this made me realize that I am effectively an active piece of scum. Let's see if I do something about it.
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