Sunday, February 21, 2010

To the gallows

Its with a heavy heart and with a staggering hand that i post. My heart is so filled with dismay that i cannot see a single ray of hope. What hope is left. I ask myself? Indeed, what hope there is for me?
All of a sudden I have realized that tomorrow I have to go to college. No longer can I enjoy waking up in the noon; I have to get up before the cock croons. The pleasure of sleeping in the mornings I can no longer enjoy!
All the holidays I have succedded in encapsulating myself in a shell in which I could not be reminded of my papers! Now I have to go and see them!
Something that aatish said seems appropriate now
Phir bahaar aai wohi dasht-nawirdi ho gi
Phir wohi paaon wohi khar-e-mughilan ho gay
And how i wish i could say the next lines
Tou kahan jaaey gi kuch apna thikana kar lay
Hum to kal khawab-e-adam main shab-e-hijran ho gay
But what the hell, I still have some hours left to live. So I should leave that some more.
It must be obvious by now that I dont have anything particular to write about. So I am ranting about silly topics.
Thats enough for once, I think.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

A pile of ashes is a joy forever

I am a bit late, but better late than never.
My pc has been out of order for quite a time.Finally I succedded in making it work after countless experiments.I do hope that it keeps working for some time now,at least.
But enough about my pc woes.What i was going to say was-well,its late but still.....................
Anyways, I wanted to talk about something important.For the first time,I realized that a pile of ashes can give you immense joy.The thing was, I burnt all my ethics-not-so-ethical notes outside my house on the eve after the paper.It was a great experience.Great and heartwarming.And i warmed my hands too.
I watched the merry fire that reduced all p. ethics to cinders.I watched the thin streak of smoke rising upwards towards the sky, vanishing into nothingness.

Do i hear some of you protesting that i contributed to polluting the atmosphere?People, the pollution they inflicted upon my mind is greater than that which was due to burning them. The damage done to my ethics cannot be undone so easily, i m afraid.

They warmed the freezing evening too, for some time too.So thats another plus point.At a time, i even came close to wishing that they had been a thicker pile.The more the merrier.
By the way, I also burnt my ec notes,hoping to prevent my mind from being short-crcuited. In the evening after the paper. They also provided some 7-8 minutes of a warm fire.
Nowadays, i m finally free. Trying to forget that I belong to a college. Trying to forget that i have to go back there after 8 days. Trying to forget that i am going to be tortured again for 4 months.These spells o life are so brief, why not enjoy them as they are?

Another point that i wanted to add was, life at college is just so static. I dont think i have learned something constructive the whole sem. I am not saying that this is entirely the fault of college. The whole semester, i have been stuck on a single line "
Aala tamam halqa-e dam-e-khayal hay". I just cannot remember the second line.Never could imagine such a thing!!!!!!!!

So here i am. Planning a lot of things. Getting my hands on a few books. Cleaning my room. Learning to play chess. And dota,too. But a week is such a short time for all this...........................
Here i go again. But this much is enough for one post, i think. So i should be getting off.
P.S. i hope i may be able to write something less pathetic next time.