An abundance of oscillations

 I suffer from a case of extreme oscillations, from emotions to ideas to actions. Maybe it is too much neurpolasticity, maybe it is too few neurons. Who knows and who cares.

To many dangling threads of work make me question my practises at times and I'll have to start closing some of them.

It does seem like every relevant person is getting an email at this point and I am one of those selected by fate among the rejected pile but by this point there is nothing I can do about it. My time circuit is weird as hell and life is already hard enough as it is.

Last night I started reading Faruqi's shair ghair shair and nasar and there are some observations:

1. Why the hell did I not discover him before? He is someone who knows a lot of stuff.

2. I have to read The Lady of The Lake. Also masnavi seher ul bayaan, but it is something that should be read out loud. Mir does depict the moonlight in a beautiful manner.

3. The question of what constitutes poetry as well as how to rank poets is a universal one and bothers people in all languages. Personally I think that a simple surface with a complex interior is the hallmark of beauty. The thing has to look effortless and simple and well-knit, but when you sit down and analyze it, there are layers and layers of meaning, or there is a single idea but it is extremely well formed and the delivery is well executed. I suspect that there is not a single kind of beauty, nor is there a single ingredient to it, and this is what derails these questions. Two couplets can be beautiful in very different ways and due to very different reasons and weighing them against each other is kind of pointless. 

4. Well I am impressed by him, how else do I put it?I don't know one hundredth of the stuff he knows. There is always the question of not getting the right kind of environment for an aptitude for learning to flourish but the internet has made this kind of moot. Maybe I need to loop someone into my study of literary theory and discuss stuff with them. The technique has helped in decision theory.

So yes anything to take my mind off things I guess but I genuinely like this stuff, even though my brain has pretty much atrophied by now and I have trouble distinguishing shades of meaning. Words and meanings, what do they represent after all? Nothing and no one.

Back up plans, girl, back up plans.