Sounds like your fairly standard piece of writing, right? Recently I was just complaining to someone that stuff you find around yourself is simply so irrelevant and mostly just noise.
Noise. The universe is bursting with it. Our local universe, mostly. Otherwise what you find around is usually relevant to some extent.
Karachi is slightly less hot and something in my subconscious remembers that it is fall season. Fall triggers a sense of change, loss and transition. I remember discussing it with someone exactly three years ago. He diagnosed it as me being very sensitive.
Have I noticed something recently? Maybe that actions and reactions are mostly spent on completely useless things. But what is relevant then? The straightforward answer-whatever aligns best with your interest-is hard to parse and harder to implement.
In addition to these subtle ideas, fall also induces a session of allergy and fever, in which I am reveling these days. My low grade fever doesn't let me do anything useful, but doesn't garner any sympathy for me either. I just get scolded for being a drama queen everywhere, which I simply can't help.
What else? I have realized that all realizations have a cognitive component, as well as an emotional one. You can be aware of something cognitively, but if you do not emotionally pacify yourself, it is not going to affect you the way you want. It is not going to change the relevant set of ideas inside your head.
What is the human brain, but a set of emotionally imprinted ideas?
I have had another realization- I used to marvel at people giving other people emotionally laden advice in service of specific ideas, even though it would be insidious for the poor person under advice. Recently I've realized that it is plain stupid and people give such injurious advice because they don't have skin in the game.
Our ideas in the real world so rarely get tested that it is nearly impossible to improve through external feedback. One can very easily get overconfident about the validity of one's own convictions. In a way, it is useful too; having strong convictions drives you forward in life, and there are few substitutes for it. I guess one has to keep a balance.
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